we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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