Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
