its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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