Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize
