Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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