I am puke
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
