dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
