am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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