i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Randomize
