No awkward lesbian experiences without me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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