DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
