i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
