New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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