i just google imaged poop.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
