how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
How external is "for external use only"?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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