Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
