He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
