Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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