I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Dick very happy bro
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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