Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
My balls are so social today.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize
