you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
