My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
