gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I understand Curling. That high.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
