There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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