I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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