So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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