It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
