Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
