Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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