I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
