Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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