why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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