Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
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