I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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