I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I want to have your abortion
I bet he comes in French.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
