last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
