Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
