She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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