She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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