I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
