I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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