I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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