Heybabeimwearingurpanties
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
