TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
