i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
