so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
