Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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