Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
