You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize