oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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