I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
The power of my boobs compel you
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize