make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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