we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
