are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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