Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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