He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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