We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
