i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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