you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
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I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
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I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey