so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu