No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
