yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Sober January is a disaster.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?