Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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