16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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