Will you blow on my dice?
...so i touched it.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
