I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Randomize
